– Hi everybody! And I have officially taken over, hi everybody, this camera’s
the one I’m looking at. And I’m Marisha Ray. (cheering and applauding) Oh, my friends are so supportive. And I am here with the
Weave Society taking over. – Yeah!
– Yes! – Now I have not played this game yet, nor GMed it, so first for both here. – [Becca] Yay, jumping in! – Jumping in. I’m just right in the cold water. – Following suit with the rest of us. – Yeah, exactly! That works for all of that. – We can figure that out as we go, and we get to show people how easy it is. – Yeah, I’m super excited, I’m already, my brain is moving at like a million miles a minute
on like fun stuff. This is gonna be good,
this is gonna be good. So. – Can I just take a moment to
be like thank you, audience, because I’m pretty sure their generosity is the reason we get
to have you here today. – [Marisha] Oh yes!
(cheering) – I’m real excited about it. Thank you! – There was a, yeah, amazing weekend, that was when we raised like 13K? – Did you know that they
were putting you on the table as like a– – I did, I did, yeah. (laughing) It wasn’t, I was already
like, I wanna do a game, and they were like, let’s like
kill two birds with one stone and have our cake and eat it too. – Don’t tell them that,
they worked really for this. – But you guys worked real hard for it, and we appreciate that. – And you supported 826LA and thank you. – Yeah!
– Yes. – Amazing organization that teaches kids storytelling and creative writing from elementary school all
the way up to high school, and they have sanctions
all over around the world that have these amazing storefronts, and each storefront is a different theme, depending on what city you are in. So just like, look it up,
they’re great date spots, that’s what Taliesen and
I always tell people. They’re super fun. – What’s the market in Echo Park? – Time Travel Mart! – Time Travel Mart! – That one’s so cool. – Yeah, the one– – I went there for my birthday. – There’s two. Oh really?
– I did. – Isn’t it so cute? – It was lovely. – You like get lunch nearby
and then you go shopping. It’s a good time, it’s a good time. – I bought a book that
was written by kids there, it was amazing. – Yeah, they do writing workshops there. – They do writing workshops.
– I was looking into, you can apply to like help
kids learn how to write. – Yeah, you can also volunteer as, for creative writing workshops there, too. – Yeah, we’re actually, we’re
kind of on a mission right now in the Critical Role
group to try and start really pushing Dungeons and Dragons clubs. (gasps) – Yeah!
– Yeah! – Like we would actually be
great for the kids at 826, but it just like takes somebody to like, have the initiative to go down there and be like hey, I want to do this, I want to run this game for kids. You know, because they’ve got
mentors that are overworked, and you know, trying to
do the best they can. So like, if you want to
do it, just hit ’em up. Just go do it! Just like Nike. – Exactly, cheer myself. Yes. Troubleshoot. ♪ Troubleshooting ♪ ♪ Troubleshooting ♪ (laughs) Okay, so– – So what world are we playing in today? – Today we are playing in the Gloomies. – Yay!
(cheering) – And the name of this episode
is Leaderboard Lockout. – Oh! – What does that mean? – It means you guys are a group of kids, and you guys have been
working all summer break for the video game tournament (gasps)
that’s happening at Gloo, what’s it called? Gloomy’s store? Sure, Gloom Bay Boardwalk. – Yes.
– At the Gloom Bay Boardwalk. (gasps) – I like to think that
this is existing in also Amy’s universe canon,
with these four kids like, getting the swamp guy. (laughing) – That’s happening off-screen. – Could be the exact
same characters, yeah. – Except for old Sally. (laughing) – Score!
– All right, there ya go. – My character in Gloomies
was an excellent video game. – Yeah.
– She had like the top score. – It’s true. – I hope you get that skill again. – Right? That would be super useful. – Oh wait, how many– – This is exciting
because I’ve never played, like first of all, I didn’t get to play in Gloomies last time. – Oh, yeah.
– And second of all, this is a really cool like, scene. I mean, I guess I’ve now seen
two different games of Clique, but like, this one is such
a sort of specific world, I love to think that
like, we are now joining, like that that is happening
off screen somewhere, but whatever happens today
can be self-contained in the same world, like cool. I like the game, is all. – Yeah yeah yeah. (laughing) I’m into it. – All right. – I think we might–
– We need black cards. – And I give you guys a challenge, black challenge cards, okay. All right. – Are we flames? Are we gales? – What are you guys, what
are you liking so far? What do you like secretly hope to get? – Oh, I really like gales challenges, because it’s all about– – [Amy] Perception and dexterity? – All that stuff. (laughing) I also really like roses ’cause I like– – I like rose too. – I like making, anything I say goes, so. – I like being real
strong and finding ways where I can just smash
stuff and throw stuff. – We’re kinda team rocks
over here, I think. – Yeah.
– Yeah. – [Gina] You’re team
strongy, we’re team talky. – Yeah. – I haven’t made any decisions. – Strongy like talky. (laughing) – And I like granting wishes, so– – Ooh! – Oh!
– Ooh, brooks! – What? – Oh, I don’t, it’s just given to me. – Let’s give you flames.
– Thank you! – Give Becca– – That means I’m smart. – And you’re gale. – Sneak, sneak, sneak. – All right.
– Talky. – All right. – Flames, flames, flames. (laughing) – As you guys get your
characters rocking– – Flames is what again? – Flames is intelligence.
– Intelligence, yes. Right, I remember that,
because I’m very smart. Wind is intelligence. – Okay. – Flames, or sorry, no,
flames is intelligence. – Mhmm. – Wind is like– – Gales is the dexterity
and sort of sneaky elementy. – And perception. – And brooks is charisma. – Yeah. – Stone is strong! – And stone is strong. (laughs) I am so strong. – Ooh, this should be fun. We’ve gotten a lot of
cool story possibilities out of the Mask. I should not be telling y’all that, but – You love that mask. Haven’t you had the
mask almost every time? No, you always get the River. – I definitely had it in space. (groans) – That’s right. – But yeah, I had the
River a couple times. – You’re a pathological liar. – Lil bit, lil bit. (laughing) You were just waiting
to call me out on that, it was real fun. – [Marisha] This is like a
really awesome DM screen. – [Whitney] Isn’t that rad? – Custom made by Tristan. – Mhmm. – The marketing manager for Weave, who is just like also the woodworker. (gasps)
What? – My first backstory, I love it! (laughs) – Hey, I worked. – Hey, Gina, you’re in, right? You’re good and in? – So some of these options are like, you’re secretly doing this,
or you’re secretly this, and I feel like it’s
always a battle for me, because I want to tell you
guys about it immediately, like that’ll be helpful. – [Amy] Hey, do you
want to hear my secret? – But I feel like it’s not
gonna come out naturally. Also I just trust you guys so much. (laughing) – [Becca] Yeah, I get it, I get it. – Oh man, I have a choice
that would be really fun, but y’all would have to… – You gotta tell us. – Come on, we’ll go through it. – Are you guys cool if I’m
“way too young for this?” Even though you inexplicably
hang out with middle schoolers and/or high school students,
you are in fact five years old. (gasping) – I love it, I love it.
– Please? – Yeah, we need a five year old, for sure. – Yeah, you could be like the
little sister or something that like–
– Okay. – You know, both parents
are working over the summer, and you know, someone stopped babysitting, – Yep, I’m a latchkey five-year-old. – You’re a latchkey five-year-old, yeah. – Good luck with that, guys! – I scanned the Gateway,
and whoever was writing this was watching a lot of Stranger Things. (laughing) I was like oh fuck, did I
forget the name of this thing that I’ve watched so many times? Trapped in the Inside-Out, a
lab rat been experimented on, a dungeon crawler that plays D&D too much. (laughing) A lot of things.
– Some good choices. – Should I make my
five-year-old fluent in German? – Yes! – Oh my gosh, mild telekinesis
is definitely happening. – It’s been a hot,
sticky summer, you know, it’s been exceptionally hot, just drought’s kickin’ in real bad, you know, so you guys
definitely have passed a lot of your time this
year, this summer break, in the arcade, where it’s
more air conditioned. You’re just not really
incentivized to go outside. Public pool’s always way too crowded. And you guys have been
logging some serious hours onto those old arcade cabinets. Everyone’s favorites being Nuke’s Bazooks. (laughing) And you guys always go
to the Boardwalk Arcade over at Gloom Bay Boardwalk, ’cause it’s the only
arcade in like 100 miles, like pretty much on the
entire Gloomy seaboard, that has Nuke’s Bazooks. It’s just a really hard cabinet to find. (laughing) But you guys are bound and determined to be the top like, you know, ideally it’s one, two, three,
and four on the leaderboards, just a matter of who’s gonna win. – Just one, two, and three, though. – Yeah.
(laughing) – Is that okay? – Oh my gosh, you guys,
I’m loving this character! – I know, so am I! – I’m really excited. – I made some choices that
I feel bad for my character. A little bit. – I’m finding an interesting
combination of choices, because now I have to pick ones that make sense with being five, and so it’s kinda great,
because it’s like oh, also, that’s the only one left
here, and that should be fun. – Anyway, this is our theme. – Oh my god. – The Tortoise. – Whoa.
(laughing) – Which is bringing us that
video game championship. Now you guys are pretty used
to this drive, you know, it’s probably about 45 minutes
or so to the boardwalk. You know, for kids, it’s, you
know, you definitely have to try and behave yourself
in order to make sure Mom’s willing to drive you
down there on the weekend, or at least someone’s mom. ‘Cause you know, yeah. Gotta be cool. Make sure–
– I’ll be so good. – Gotta be so good. – It’s cool, I can kind of,
mostly drive my mom’s car. (laughing) – How old are you? – Old enough.
– What I thought. (laughing) – Someone’s a troublemaker. – You’re only a troublemaker
is you get caught and then get in trouble. (laughing) – Yeah, that’s my kinda girl. I’m so into this already. You guys have also been kinda saving up some allowance money, you know, saving up money from, those of you who are old enough
to be working summer jobs. – Mhmm. – Mowing a few extra lawns
in order to try and make sure that you can make it to this championship, this big tournament. This big tournament that
everyone is very familiar with is called the Leaderboard Lockout. – Leaderboard Lockout. It’s a big deal. – I want a leaderboard. – Oh, I’m so ready for five-year-old Amy! (laughing) – Man, I have a lot of secrets going on. – Okay, now this card,
I’m just ganna share this. I am now, because I pulled the Assassin, all of my talents are unorthodox
karate training related. (laughs) So like, I have to decide
what gift I’ve gotten for my five-year-old
unorthodox karate training. – Have you seen that
YouTube video about like, that three year old kid who has the abs and is like super karate champion kid. – No! – That’s kinda what you
remind me of, like– – Yes, I’m gonna be that kid. – That child prodigy,
where like your parents just put you in karate to
like burn off some steam, but you turned out
really good at it, yeah. – Should I have a gift for, so should I take the crane kick? Because of my unorthodox karate training, I can balance on one foot and execute an elaborate kick attack that
is absolutely devastating, assuming your opponent stands
in front of you motionless waiting for you to prepare? – Yes! – I am so excited for this! (laughing) – Okay, we’re doing that. – I just–
– Fierce. (laughing) Are you stones? – Nope, but I’m–
– Amazing! (laughing) – That high dexterity. I also took a different kicking talent, so I’m just all about kicking. Oh god, I get two talents from this one! – Wait, are you berserker,
is that what you just said? – Oh boy. – Or a different kicking ass thing? – Different, unorthodox karate training, ’cause of the Assassin. – Oh, perfect, perfect. I just go batshit on people. – Amazing. (laughs) – This I wanna do, surprisingly
stealthy for a fat kid. – Oh no!
(laughing) ♪ Pretty stealthy for a fat kid ♪ – Oh, I love that song. – Yeah, it’s a good one, it’s a good one. (laughing) – It’s been on the radio a lot lately. (laughing) ♪ Gimme all your candy ♪ ♪ Uh-huh, uh-huh ♪ ♪ And the girlies say I’m
pretty stealthy for a fat kid ♪ (beatboxing) – That is never gonna
leave our heads, nope. – Speaking of which,
what year is it roughly? – Yeah. – I’d say it’s a nice healthy 1982, 1983. – Right, so we’re not in
a Starcraft tournament. – Yes, no no no. Still very arcade, you
know, it’s the video game– – Overwatch League. – Right, before the video game
crash of the ’80s, you know, it’s right in like the height of that. Which is what, but you
know, maybe you guys are starting to kind of see the signs of the video game crash,
but you guys aren’t, you know, you’re kids, you’re pretty, this is your sphere of awareness. So you’ve kinda been
wondering why you’ve been having a hard time finding Nuke Bazooks in any other arcades, like it’s just like, it’s you know, arcades
are starting to kinda, some cabinets are being
pulled, you’re not seeing them, there’s a lot more of out of order signs starting to get taped on
some of these cabinets. – Is it Wreck-It-Ralph? – And–
– I like this– – It’s more of like a bullet hell shooter. – Is the character
Wreck-It-Ralph the reason this… (laughing) Is he the mastermind behind the– – We’re just straight-up
ripping off Wreck-It-Ralph. (laughing) There’s a not-licensed
character that we legally use. (giggling) (all talking at once) – I’m on the last one, I got stuck at the amazing inventory things
I get to choose right now. – Ooh. – One of them, I’m just
ganna read this for you, ’cause it’s hilarious. One of the things that I can
just have in my inventory is a really thirsty owl. Have you ever seen a bird drink? Well you have now, because
this one sticks its beak in every pool of standing
water it can find. – What the fuck? – That’s amazing. – Right. It’s gonna come in so handy, dude. – It isn’t, ’cause I
already have a pet falcon, and they would totally fight,
I can’t have them together. – In real life, or that’s– – No. – You have two bird options? – I got two bird options. – Wait, you have a pet
owl and a pet falcon? (laughing) – I have a falcon on me at all times. Just so you all know. – I like this bird kid. (laughing) – Okay, I might have to–
– You’re name is Bird Kid! – I’m gonna be Bird Kid. (laughing) – Yay! – You’re just like the weirdo
kid that just everyone calls– – I have a falcon and a thirsty owl that follows me everywhere.
– Yeah. – Or is it thirsty as in like,
damn, that owl is thirsty! – It’s both. – That owl wants to fuck! – That owl in heat! – That owl is in love with my falcon! – Oh shit. – The thirsty owl. – Drama! – What are the birds doing? – They wanna, oh, you’re five. – Oh! – Guys, let’s forget the Gloomies
and just play the Birdies. – The Birdies! – Just all be birds in a bird drama. (laughing) – Bird drama!
(laughing) – You all have to fly
south for the winter, but who is gonna be the
leader of the flying V?! Who?! Fight it out amongst yourselves. – Can this take place in the
same universe as Birdemmon? – Yeah, oh! – Oh! – Yes! – Yes! – I wanna keep this up
the whole time because– – I was gonna say, what are you doing? – I feel like it works for my character. – You’re like a turtle. (laughs) – This is what– – Are you Turtle and I’m Bird Kid? – I have to commit to who I
am, which is really weird. – Wonderful. Hey, hey. I’m Bird Kid, so.
– You’re Bird Kid. (laughing) Love that Bird Kid. – You know what? I’m just gonna have some
peanut butter candies on me at all times. – Ooh.
– I got one too! – Do you?
– Yeah. – Wait, you have candy? – We’ll pool it all together. – Okay! (laughing) – What kinda candy you got? – I got Pez, and I have a box of waffles. – They have to be ’80s candy. – Pez. – Pez! Pez! – Now I need a name. – Me, I’m Loogie. – Your name’s Loogie? – Your name’s Loogie? – Yeah, my name’s Loogie. (laughing) You can call me Loo for short. But most people call me Loogie. – That’s a very good name. – Oh my god, your name is
Loogie, I love that so much. Loogie Berganthal. – Yeah, at your service. A swell name, my parents were great chaps. – Okay, I’m in. – Bird Kid, call me Birdie. I’m so happy about this. – Bird Kid? – Yeah, but you can call me Birdie. (laughing) – Birdie Bird Kid? – Birdie.
– Like Girdie Peeples? – I said Birdie, I meant to say Birdie. – She’s a memorable
character, dude, I get it. – Birdie. – I wasn’t gonna call you out or anything. – No no, Birdie. I misspoke. I was getting pecked by
my falcon at the same time as saying it. (laughing) – What are your falcons’ names? – I only have one. – What’s your falcon and
your thirsty owl name? – I don’t name the thirsty
owl, he doesn’t belong to me. – Oh. (laughing) He just follows me around. – Oh, ’cause it things you have water? – You have a lot of liquid? – I mean you are 70% water, we learned that in science class. – Are you saying the bird’s gonna eat me? – Yes. – Cool. – Loogie, Birdie. – Krankle. – I say, you wanna
introduce yourself, Whitney? – My name’s Krankle. (laughing) You might know that there’s
something different about me, and it’s that I always
wear my shirt like this, I am very very short for a 12-year-old, I’m like three and a
half feet on a good day, and I have really big ears
and a really stubby nose. But most people think I’m
just a regular human, guys, ’cause you’re my best
friends, you know this, I’m secretly a goblin. (laughing) – What?! – And I was exchanged for a human baby back when I was a young child, so I don’t remember too much of my past, but I did, one of my items that
I have is a mysterious orb, and so I have that. Excuse me, I have a
little spit in my mouth. (laughing) I’m haunted by the past. I got traded for a human baby, who wouldn’t be haunted by that? I have unauthorized access
to my mom’s checkbook. We don’t get along very
well because she knows that I am not her kid, but she’s like, I’m not gonna turn away this ugly thing. Because who’s gonna take it? No. (slurps) I have the most important meal of the day, every day for breakfast,
I eat two raw eggs and a glass of orange juice, all mixed together in a blender. This is a goblin favorite of mine. What are my talents? Well, I’m a master thespian. I have the lead in every school play. I can throw really–
– Wait, what? – Do you, though? – I can! Listen, most people
think that I’m a human, I’m a great actor. (laughing) – It’s the hood that does it. – And I can throw rocks really fast, I got great sleight of
hand, so I love magic, and a stiff upper lip. I’ve been bullied a
lot and I hate bullies, so I’ll stand up to anybody. Also I have, I play the recorder, and I’ve got emergency music skills, so if necessary I can
just drop a jaunty tune on my school-issued recorder,
and get us out of a bind. Also I can ride anything. Don’t know what that means.- – What? – I can ride anything. A bike, a horse, a racing
snail, a bird, I can ride it. – Don’t you dare ride Barneby. – Krankle…
(laughing) What else? – He doesn’t like it, I’ve tried. – Got some fuzz, I’m exceptionally greedy, which is great, because I
have my mom’s checkbook. (laughing) Also I’m a kleptomaniac, again,
I have my mom’s checkbook. (laughing) – Both items are really
one item to both qualities. – What’s in my inventory? Well, a small glass orb,
I don’t know what it does, but it looks cool when
you do this with it. – Oh!
– Wow! – And also a teddy bear,
his name is Lancelot. (laughs) – Does he do anything cool? – No, just provides a
lot of emotional comfort, I like to rub my nose on his nose, and his nose is almost
rubbed off right on the tip ’cause all the velvet rubbed off. – All the fuzz, yeah. – Rub your nose on it a lot. – Oh, is this not good for my mic? I’m sorry. (laughing) I’ll put my shirt back. (laughing) – Sound is like, oh god. – You guys are really cool and
I like to hang out with you. I’m Tabs. – Tabs. – Hi. – Tabs. – Whose sister are you? – My sister disappeared, but I think that maybe she’ll come back. – Wow. That’s sad. – That was unfortunately
in my backstory, very so. (all talking at once) I can kick! (chuckling) – Wow, good kick. – Tabs, you guys just,
Tabs just kinda hung out at the arcade a lot, and you
guys just kind of adopted her as like your, you know– – We’re like cool friends. – Yeah. Looking out for her. – She’s always had a hard time. – How about you, Loogie? – Yeah. Well, here’s the thing about me. I can’t, okay. Well, you know what’s pretty swell is that my parents homeschooled
me, they taught me about cool music, like Rockin’
Robin, you know that song? ♪ Rockin’ Robin, doot, doot, doot ♪ ♪ Rockin’ Robin, doot, doot, doot ♪ – Are you making fun of my birdness? – No, it’s just, that’s my favorite song. Also– – I wish I didn’t have to
go to school next year, that is so cool! – I mean it’s fine, yeah,
there’s lots of things you learn when you’re homeschooled,
and there’s lots of things you don’t learn. Anyway, I can do a Rubik’s
cube in 13 seconds, and well, I kinda have crushes on people a lot. – Eww! – It’s really embarrassing,
I just kinda like always have a crush on a girl
or you know, a trash can, or like whatever. People say I’m pretty
stealthy for a fat kid and I think that’s mean, I
like to say the word chubby. By the way, I have waffles always on me if you guys ever want a waffle. Also, one day I fell into a
ditch and I didn’t wake up till eight years later,
’cause you know, like a coma. Oh, also I have mild
skills at telekinesis, like really light stuff, I
can pick it up with my brain, and–
– Did you say by praying? – With my brain. – Oh.
(laughing) – Brain. And, I’m super good at
hiding, also for a fat kid. (laughing)
– I love hiding! – I’m chubby, though. – That’s about it of the stuff I want to tell you guys about me. I have a body part, nevermind. Nevermind. Huh?
– You have a body part? – I feel like I got
everything out on the table, so just be honest with your friends. – I can’t tell you, I can’t tell you. – They told you that they
rubbed their bear’s nose off. – Yeah. – That’s pretty intimate information. – Not even more embarrassing than the fact that I’m not even a human, I’m a goblin. – That’s really embarrassing, yeah. Whoa, your face did something weird. (laughing) – I don’t know what you mean. I look different than most humans, okay? – Tabs loves it when you do that. – Yeah!
(clapping) Do it again. Yeah! – You make her forget
about her lost sister. – Yeah! Oh. – Oh my god!
– I’m good for something! – I can be super helpful though, ’cause I’m a really good kicker. Right in the tenders. If it has a sensitive
spot, my foot will find it. – Whoa! – I am a junior botanist! I know all about the woods, I love to spend time in
the woods, and training. I can do a kick! And they make me do this
floor polishing thing a lot, and I can automatically
block almost any kick that comes at you in hand-to-hand combat, which has come up a
lot as a five-year-old. (all talking at once) (laughing) – My goodness. – Hey little miss two birds. – Hello. Hello, I am Bird Kid,
you can call me Birdie. Not Girdie like I said before, I misspoke. I am a budding filmmaker, I stole my dad’s eight millimeter camera and I am determined to make a documentary on the Leaderboard Lockout. I’m also a super fan, I
don’t know, if you know this, but I was also in that
movie Space Wars, you know, the one with the Stormwalker
dude, you remember that? I was in that, I was in that. I was totally in that. I’ll show you the scene later
if you come over to my house. I also collect stickers, because
stickers are really good, and if you do a really
good job in my scene I’ll give you a sticker,
but not the good ones, like the sheets that are, you know, just like puppies and kitties,
not the really shiny ones. Only if you do a really good take, well I can do the shiny ones, but– – I’ll take it. – Also–
– I’m in love with you. Hmm? – We’ll get to that later.
– Sorry. – Save it for the show!
– ‘Kay. – Put it in the movie!
– Yeah. – Hold onto that emotion. Just wait till I can get it on camera. – I’m gonna hold onto it! – Hold it tighter.
– I will! – Tighter.
(groans) Okay good. Action. (shouts) – Cut!
– Love me! – Great, that was beautiful. It’s going in the film.
(clapping) – Cool! – Also, at this, my dad put me in charge, so unfortunately, I think that means that you’re my little sister and we both have sisters that are missing. (gasps) So, sorry. (laughing) That’s also going in the
documentary, if it follows through. I’ve got some good talents. I can mostly drive, we talked about that. My mom doesn’t know, but I
used to take the car out, like, just in the driveway, it would just sort of go back and forth. – You’re gonna make movies with cars and you’re also gonna make a big one where I’m a fighting hero, right? – Oh yeah, I’ve duct taped the camera to the windshield wipers before. It’ll make you puke, the
footage, but it’s entertaining. (laughing) – Krank, yes. – I’m also a falconer, if you don’t know. It’s kind of hard to tell,
but I do have a giant falcon on my shoulder, his name is Barneby, don’t touch him, he bites. – He’s Barneby. – He’s not trained very well. – Birds and goblins don’t
get along very well, but I’m gonna try my best,
what did you say to me? – Hey!
– What did you say? What did you say? – Barneby.
– What did you say? – Barneby. Just stop looking at each other! – Right. – Oh, this is gonna be rough. I’m also an electrician,
and I work out a lot, and also I’m a compulsive liar, so. – Wait, you’re an electrician? – I am. I started my own business. – Were you lying about any of the stuff you just told us about?
– Oh, definitely not. – I feel like something’s a lie, though, ’cause you said you’re a liar. – No I didn’t. Also,
(laughing) you know, I’m ironically incompetent, that’s what my dad says. You see the thing is that
everything that I love, I’m probably pretty terrible at it, but I don’t think so,
that’s just what he says, I’m just repeating what he said. – You’re super good at everything. – I know, that’s what I said. – Oh. – Except kicking, I’m
real good at kicking. – Also, did I mention the thirsty owl? He’s in love with Barneby. He follows me everywhere. – It is not yours? – No, no. I don’t own him. – You don’t know him? – That owl looks at
Barneby like I look at you. – That’s an interesting theory. – Now as you guys are
having this conversation, and you’re coming back
and it’s a little dark, you’ve been shooting some things on your video camera, your dad’s. Krankle over here had the good idea, when you didn’t have any film, any VHS tapes for your camera, Krankle was like, I got a good idea, we’ll just lift some
from the local pharmacy. – I can do that. – It’s because I’m so smart, you guys. I’m up for this challenge,
I would think just steal it. – At the five and dime, gee whiz! – I’ve done it before, I’ve
done it multiple times. I steal stuff from there
all the time, let’s do it. – Unfortunately you guys forgot that Loogie’s mom is dating
the five and dime store clerk. – Wow, gee, gee whiz. – Yeah, good old Mr. Grimsby. (growls) So Mr. Grimsby– – Your mom can do so much better. – She really can’t. – Oh, willickers. I don’t know, can she though? – What? – Mr. Grimsby is known to be,
you know, kind of a buzz kill. He’s mean, you don’t know
why your mom is with him. But before you could
even walk in the door, Mr. Grimsby made the
phone call to your mom, and unfortunately, the night
before the Leaderboard Lockout, all four of you are grounded. (gasps) – What, what did I do?!
– Oh wowzers! – I didn’t do it! – Oh, you don’t know, the, (sighs). – They said, and who knows,
with poor Tabs over here, she’s just kinda guilt by association, but somehow that grounding
extends to her, because– – They won’t let me out without my sister. – Exactly, you can’t go anywhere. – This concept of grounding
is completely new to me, goblins don’t ground each
other, what does that even mean? All we do is collect shiny things. (gasps) – Your human mom? – And that’s being grounded. – Oh!
– Is Barneby grounded too? – Is unfortunately the problem. – Oh no! – Barneby’s not grounded, guys, we can send him out to get the film. Do you think you can do that, Barneby? – Why are we grounded? – Look, I told you to stop hanging out with
these troublemakers. – Well, but–
– No buts! – Oh, but–
– Loogie, no buts, Loo. – Loog! – I’m assuming your
mom would call you Loo. No buts, Loo. – Hey, can you repeat
that, look into the camera? – Get out of here, Bird Kid! – Sorry. – I told you she was a weirdo, and you keep hanging out with her anyway. You know what? You’re not going to the
boardwalk this weekend, you are ground for the next 24 hours. Sorry. – Listen, you did me a major disservice by homeschooling me for most of my life and only teaching me ’50s slang, and now the other kids think I’m weird, and Bird Kid and goblin kid
and this five year old– – Hey! Shush! – Are the only ones
that’ll hang out with me! – Are you trying to question
my decisions as a mother? – No ma’am. – You know we did that homeschooling because we wanted you to
have the best education, and we moved to this
town so that your father could try and get you in
the best school districts that we decided not to use, because we decided to home school you, because even the best
still wasn’t good enough. – Miss Mom? – What? – I know you don’t like me,
that’s cool, most people don’t, but see, the thing is, she’s
gonna be the star in a movie, and she needs to be there. – I’m a boy! – I’m sorry. – He’s gonna be in a movie. He’s a very feminine child.
– Sorry. – Listen–
– I’m sorry. – I have a recorder. – Can Loogie come out to play? – No. – I got a lot of chins and
it makes it hard to tell. – Loogie, I’m sorry,
you’re very beautiful. He’s gonna be the star of a movie. – Well, I’m masculine, like in true way. – You mean the movies that I
told him were distracting him from his school work? You still filming these movies, Loo? – Oh, but it’s for school credit! – Yeah. – Is that true? Roll a–
– It absolutely is true. – Roll a brooks check. – First check, first check, first check! – First check! Okay, so. – And since you guys are already
in some pretty big trouble. (gasping) – Okay. – It’s gonna take a lot to convince her. – Can I have an extra die
for being a compulsive liar? – Sure. – Yay!
(laughs) Yeah, that’s it. (laughing) Come on, come on, come on, come on. Yay.
– Ooh! Two successes with the Weave die! (cheering) All right, all right. – It’s definitely for school credit. (laughing) – And what is the subject of this video that you’re doing for school credit? – We’ll say on the count of three. One, two, three. (all talking at once) – Apple math butter! – Apple math butter, apple math butter! – It’s a new calculator. We’re going to the convention to see it. They’re premiering at the arcade. There’s a spokesperson,
and I’m going there to film you using it for their
new ad for school credit. – And afterwards we’re gonna eat apples. – Yeah, that’s the snack. – All right, well here’s the deal. – What? – You all can keep studying for your exam. – Thank you. – And shooting your
movie for extra credit. – Thank you. – But still no tournament. End of story. To your room! – Did you slap me or slam the door? – I’m trying to, I was slamming a door and then gesturing towards a room, kind of in the same motion. – Wow, my mom’s harsh. – She’s really dramatic, it’s amazing. – Yeah. – I wish she would let me film her more. – By the way, I don’t
know if you knew this, but I’ve been the lead in
every school production since middle school, so
I’ve got some acting chops. So, just so you know. – Oh, don’t worry, you’re on my list. – I just wanna feel like I belong. – So are we all supposed
to go to your room? Are we supposed to go
collectively to our rooms? – I start marching to your room. – You guys, yeah, you guys
all go up into Loogie’s room. – Oh, that’s a really
good shot, do it again. Dramatically, oh, okay, great. – This kid’s a really good actor. Knows how to go back to one. – It runs in the family. – As you all slowly,
defeatedly crawl your way up to Loo’s bedroom, close the door, put on the record player, start playing a little Led Zepplin. (caws) (singing) (chuckling) And you all know, there
is no way you can miss the Leaderboard Lockout. But if your mom’s not gonna get you there, 45 minute drive to the beach, you guys start beginning
your plan into the night on how you are going to
run away and hitchhike to the video game championship. – Guys, ooh, oh, can’t sit
like that, it’s uncomfortable. – Does your mom keep keys in easy access? – Well, she’s got a safe, and
she’s got like one of those machines that rubs your waist real fast so maybe you lose weight from friction. And she’s got a toaster. I don’t know where she has keys. (laughs) – Okay. – I’m a junior botanist,
so if we go in the woods. – Oh, a botanist, yeah. (chucking) I heard bondage. – What? – You’re way too young, I think. – I can throw rocks. – I’m a junior bondage. (laughing) – Yeah, okay. Yeah, sure. (laughing) – Are you hungry, Tabs? – Yes! – Okay. Here’s some candy. – I could distract her with
some songs on my recorder! I bring it always, just in
case, I’m a one-goblin show! – But are you gonna
play it while we’re gone to make her think we’re here? Isn’t it like a flute? – It goes up and down and it’s plastic. – It’s a reed instrument? You’d say? – It’s a wind instrument,
but it’s made of plastic. I can make noise, and scare. – Do you think you could
do the score for my movie? – Yes! – Great. – That’s what I’ve been
trying to tell you. – I can pay you in five
sheets of stickers. – You wanna hear a song right now? – Yeah. – Okay! Ears are still like this. (singing) – Wow! – You hear from downstairs,
Loo’s mom is going, is that that damn
neighbor being loud again? I’m gonna give Miss
Robinson a piece of my mind! And you hear her open the door, and Loo, as you peek out your bedroom window, you see your mom in her
bathrobe and in her shower cap and her glass of Chardonnay just start going across the street to her neighbors. – She’s spilling Chardonnay everywhere! – You have like five
minutes or so before she– (all talking at once) – Let’s go look for keys, just in case! – Okay, or maybe we just run out the door, also while we’re down there? – Let’s hitchhike! It’s more exciting.
– Okay. Split up, search the house for keys. – You hear from next door. – That’s an excellent plot twist. (knocking) – Mrs. Robinson, I need
to talk about your son. (knocking) – It’s now or never, friends! What are we gonna do? Who knows? – Who are you talking to? – The camera. Oh, sorry Barneby. There. – Wow. – Let’s sneak out the back door! – Barneby’s on that side. (laughing) – Oh no! Oh, he is! Okay. He switched shoulders
when I wasn’t looking. – He’s so sneaky! – Which really is a surprise,
because you’d think the claws would be digging into me. – Yeah. – I wear a giant leather cloak just so he can roam on my body. – Oh yeah, it looks good
with the matching glove. – Yeah. – He likes to pick the–
– Uh oh. (knocking)
– Mrs. Robinson! We need to talk about your
son and how terrible he is at marching bands!
(knocking) – Wait, hold on, is
somebody at the front door? – You hear this, you hear next door your mom trying to get
the neighbor’s attention. – She ran across the street. – Yeah, yeah. – Okay, so I say we run
downstairs and we do a quick sweep for the car keys, if not, we’re hitchhiking there. – I vote you the leader, because– – I already am, I’m the director. – Yeah, we got a goblin
and a five-year-old, and I just have basically
been living under a rock. – All right, crew. (laughing) Grab some flashlights for lighting, and do you have tin foil? – Always. – I love tin foil! – Grab tin foil, we’re
gonna need some bounce. – I have it wrapped around my waffles. – Can I just have a little bit? – For lighting. – Sure. – I love shiny stuff. – Loo runs downstairs– – You remember, when we
did that movie before. – When I hold the heavy thing? – That thing.
– Yeah. – We’re gonna do it again, but later. – Loo, you run downstairs,
you get the tin foil, you start ripping off
sheets for everybody. – Everybody needs some. – Birdie, you’re looking
around for those keys. See if you can– – I’m gonna do a perception check. – Do a perception check. See if you can make that.
– Look for some keys. – Perception is flames? – Perception is gales. – Gales, okay, a straight
roll, a straight roll. – It’s a clean roll. – Nice. (all talking at once) – Oh no! – I always think the blue is gales, still. – So do I, but no. – Wait, the blue, oh wait, no,
because the blues are brooks. – No, they’re brooks.
– Oh no. – So wait, if it’s a
negative and you get an X, does that mean you get a strike? – I get an X, so I get
a strike for this scene. Tell me what happens while
I’m looking for keys. All right. – You just see, Loogie’s
mom comes back disgruntled, she flings open the door and she goes, (gasping) you troublemaker! Are you, what are you doing
in my curio cabinet drawer? Get out of there! – I’m sorry–
– You’re a little thief! – I was looking for snacks for the bird! – What, get, get out! She starts pushing,
shoving you out the door. – At that time I fall over,
because I have wrapped my head completely in tin foil, so I
just fall over in the kitchen, hopefully in a very distracting way. – That’s a lamp! (gasping) – You, stay away from my son! And then she goes to the
kitchen to see what’s going on. What is going on in here? Roll–
– Knock knock knock knock. – Roll for charisma, roll some brooks. – Oh no, okay. – See if you can successfully
make it look like you’re a child in need and not a child– – Indeed. (laughing) – Was it a one challenge? – It is a one challenge, yes.
– Yes! – So she comes in and goes, (gasps) oh my goodness, oh honey, are you okay? What, Loogie, did you
wrap up Tabs in tin foil?! – Well, he kind of got
into it, she got into it on their own, and I, well, you, I don’t know, Mom. (knocking) – What is wrong with you? – Mrs. Loogie, it seems
like somebody’s at the door, you should go get it. – You, to your room,
you are still grounded! – But what about, well, that
time when I was grounded my friends could still come. – She’s not listening. She flings open the door again. What? – I mean, my little sister’s still here, I kinda need to take
her if I’m kicked out. (groans) – Get, Tabs!
(grunts) Out! – What? – Get… Out with your sister, out! – While she’s distracted, I’m
gonna try to make eyes at you. – Are you in love with me too? Wait, what? You wanna kiss? – Make an intelligence check
to see if you can read signals. (laughing) – Yep, okay, nothing’s gonna help me. – Unless, well. Ooh, ooh! But you got a weave. – Cool. – Yeah, and then that’s– – Okay, I got one. – One more. – I got one flame on a flame check. – You passed, okay. So you get the signals,
whatever those signals are. – Oh, oh! – The signals are, get outside, get out. – I just run out the door
past you and past Birdie, and I just keep running,
and I’m huffing and puffing and going real slow. – Make, are you running with her? – Yeah. – Or with Loo? – Not too fast! I’m making a shaky camera! – Both of you guys make gale checks to see if you can slip through your mom as she’s trying to grab you. – In a cloud of tin foil, I run– – What’s your mom’s name? What’s your last name? – Mrs. Mom. – Mrs. Mom, I feel– – Mrs. Berganthal. – I feel sick. Goblins can puke on demand!
(gasps) – Wow. – I feel sick! And I puke everywhere. (laughing) It’s a special talent. You have to be a really good actor. – Okay. – Oh my gosh. – I’ll say–
– Birdie is so sad. – Is that a check you have to roll? It just happens. Okay, if that just happens, I’ll say Mrs. Berganthal is
now completely distracted being covered in vomit, however, you still have to make the dex check to not now slip in the pool of vomit. – Could I do one extra for
stealthy for a fat kid? – You’re not trying to
stealth, you’re trying to bolt. So I’m gonna say no. – Can I punch my mom on the way, because I’m a berserker, and– – Oh my god! – I drive my point home. Man, I mean your fist. She’s a really bad mom! – Wow. – No offense, but I mean. – Sure, punch your mom, yeah. – Okay, I’m gonna punch her. – You can always punch your mom in Weave. – Where are you punching her? – This mom’s getting puked on, punched– – She’s had a bad night. (all talking at once) – She’s trying her best, you know? You had to get through the day. – She made me think it was the 1950s! – She just wanted to leisure
in a bathrobe and Chardonnay. – You are being the best birth control anyone can have right now. (all talking at once) – I punch her in the thigh! (laughing) – Yes you do. – Two. – Yeah, okay. You punch her in the thigh, (laughing) and your mom successfully goes down, she slips in the puddle of vomit, you just hear crack! as her
spine hits the wooden floor in the landing and she just goes, (groans) Loogie, you are so grounded! – Come on. – Man, I feel like you
really broke your mom, I feel like that was her last, like she’s just barely clinging on. – I’m so far away, and
huffing and puffing. – I’m so glad I got it all
on tape, did you see that? – She’s gonna take down
her eHarmony, her file. (laughing) – I’m probably kind of a mess, ’cause I just straight up
failed my running check. I didn’t get a strike, but. – Oh, you failed. So right after Mrs. Berganthal
slips nad hits the ground, you just kind of slip and you go forward, and you eat it face first. You kinda, yeah, you trip
over that front stair. (wailing) – Oh no, don’t cry! – No no no wait, okay, look
at me, remember what happens. You look me in the eye, look
me in the eye, does it hurt? No! Repeat after me, does it hurt? No! – Does it hurt? No! (wailing)
(laughing) – No no no, remember? Everything’s silly. (laughing) – Eww! – Yeah. – Oh. (panting) – So you guys are– – I gotta get this puke off of me. – You guys are covered in puke,
that’s what I was gonna say, now running through. – Whew! – You’re welcome. I eat a lot of raw eggs! – As you guys are running–
– Protein. – It smells yucky. – You, Tabs, you recognize Miss Marida, (gasping) who is your martial arts teacher, and also a lunch lady
at your guys’s school. – Oh, hard worker. – The lunch lady does not like me ’cause Barneby likes to fly
in all of the food at school. (laughs) – I mean, she’s super nice, and
she teaches me to be strong! – And as you guys are running by– – Hi Miss Marida! – Tabs? (panting) Tabs, what, you look dis, what are you kids up to? – Let’s all get cleaned up, I’m sick and I’m very embarrassed, so let’s go, we’re just so embarrassed,
I puked on everybody. This is traumatic for me. – You poor children. Come on, why don’t you come back? I will get you back home to your parents, to Mrs. Berganthal, I’ll get you back, I’ll get you cl– – No, I picked up your scent, I’m sorry. (laughing) (all talking at once) I don’t think that’s necessary. See, you and I are from the same place. From the neighborhood. And as you know, it’s
right around the corner. – You are sure acting strange. Why don’t you roll a,
what check would this be? This is a charisma situation. – Brooks.
– Yep. – Okay, but also I am
a master thespian, so. – Okay. – Get another dice for that. – How about you auto
pass, and I’m going to redraw four more cards. – Ooh! – Hey, top of the morning to ya. (laughing) – What are you, are you also from the UK? – Yes! – My goodness!
– Okay. – You must be one of the new students. – Yes, I am the new student. – Where from in the UK? – Okay. – Oh–
– Okay. I am very traumatized, I
just threw up on my friends. – Sure, sure. Well you know what, how about, do you guys want to come back to my place and I’ll get you cleaned up? – Oh, no, no, no, I’ve
got crumpets back home! – Let me think about
when I was in that coma for eight years. No one ever told me not to go
home with strangers, so yeah. – Okay. – She’s not a stranger, she’s so nice. – She’s (mumbling) all very traumatized! – Answer this. Does your home have really
nice wide-open spaces and good lighting? – I’ve got a fairly good living room with vaulted ceilings, that’s– (gasps) It’s pretty good, it’s got a loft. – If you love it I love it. – You know, but why do you ask? – Filming a movie. – Okay. Where did you– – Do you like birds in your house? – Oh, goodness. You know– – I kind of come as a package deal. With like that one too. I point up to the owl. – The bird, oh goodness. – It’s not working. – You know, I think the bird
could stay outside, can’t it? – Oh, he doesn’t leave, he stays here. – We gotta go to this thing. – I don’t know what would
happen to him if he left my shoulder/arm/armish area. – Go to what thing? – Oh, it’s a study convention. – Study convention! – Look, can we steal your car? – What?! – Will you drive us to
the convention center? – That was so bold. – Go, governor! – It is almost dinner time– – We’re gonna sleepover at the
study time convention, mhmm. – Tabs. You know part of the code of
the martial artist is honesty. – Is that true? Wow. – What are you all up to? Be honest. You’re not in trouble, I promise. – We’re trying to steal her car. – Be cool, Tabs, be cool. (clears throat) – It’s just me and you,
Tabs, just like we’re in our private training, okay? – Oh, that always works on her. (speaks foreign language) And I start running into the woods. (gasping) – What, you speak German? – Tabs! – Tabs! – Oh, we gotta go get her, sorry, bye! Goodbye! Cheerio! – We’re not filming the Blair
Witch, don’t go to the woods! – What is that? – That movie hasn’t come out yet! – It’s an idea I had! (laughing) It’s gonna be great,
I’m gonna shoot everyone really up close and they’re
gonna snot all over the camera, it’s gonna be gold. – I love snot! Goblins love snot! – You wanna be in it? – Yes!
– Great. – All right, you all, ooh, how fun. This is actually a fun
card to pull for my hand. Let me see what comes up, hang on. – Uh oh. – We got GM wiggles. (all talking at once0 – Body roll. – That was Tabs’s only way
out of the not lying scenario, because of course Miss
Marida was absolutely right about they training, so.
– Yeah. – So as you run off into the woods. – Ooh. – The woods, literally pulled the woods. (laughing) You all know that this is an
abandoned stretch of highway that’s out towards this kinda
acreage out in the woods. It’s pretty well known, a lot
of the high school older kids will come out here to
drink, do a little necking. – Golly. – But it also has some
other spooky stories that have come out of it. You remember several years ago, you were all just starting
to really remember things of an old kid whose body was
found in the ditch over there. Good old Taylor Jackson. (gasps) – I knew Taylor Jackson. – What, who? – I definitely knew him. Definitely. – You’re walking along
this abandoned highway kinda looking around, hoping for a ride, but you all know the next
car won’t come for hours and even for the rest of the night. – What time is it? – I’d say it’s right past sunset, so it’s getting pretty
dark in these woods. – You guys, not to be a bummer,
but we’re covered in puke, nobody’s gonna pick us up. – What part of the lunar cycle is it? Is it a big bright moon so I
can film still with my camera? – It’s not too dark, it’s a waxing moon. – So not a full moon. – Mhmm, and luckily– – Loogie. – Loogie, luckily Loogie,
when he was pulling out some of that tin foil, also
grabbed that flashlight when you guys were trying
to look around the house, if you remember.
– Really well done, Loogie. – Well, it’s just you gotta
go underneath the flashlights to get to the tin foil,
everybody keeps them that way, don’t you keep them that way? – It’s true, the emergency
tin foil and flashlight. – Yeah, underneath. – I mean I keep all my
gear together, so yes. – I’m gonna push the button. – Okay, so you all have
now one flashlight, the light on the camcorder,
when you wanna turn it on, but be careful, it’ll run
down the battery pretty quick, and the light of the waxing moon. – Wow. – And you are hiking along
a dark, abandoned road. – Guys, isn’t there a
shortcut to the arcade through the woods? – I feel really bad about– – I’m a junior bondage I would know that.
(laughing) – Are you speaking German again? – No, it’s what you said. – Oh, you’re a botanist. – Tabs, do you know where we are? You’ve been in these woods
way more than I have. – Yeah! – Roll to see if you know where you are. – Where are your parents? – This is a flames challenge. – They’re at home. – Oh. – And this’ll be a flames two challenge, ’cause you are a woody kid. – I am… May I, junior botanist? – Yeah, you’ve lived in the woods, right? Yeah, you like hanging out in the woods, and you like collecting
flowers and butterflies, so yeah, go for it. – Collection my favorite
rocks, by the way, in case (mumbling). (laughing) They’re various colors. They’re really good rocks. (mumbling) – Those are nice rocks. – Ooh, that is a failure! – Yep.
– And a strike. – That did not go well. – After–
– That way! – You can give strikes
in your handy thing. – Oh, I give strikes in my thing. – So. – Oh, and they show up in yours, so you have a strike
and you have a strike. – Yes. – Do they go in any– – It’s whatever– – The color is, right? – I literally keep
forgetting I am never right. – That’s okay, I’m also
ironically incompetent. – I also have a tail, huh?
(gasps) – What? – No. I stuff something furry
back into my pants. – That’s what that bulge is? – Let’s walk faster. (laughing) My back bulge? – Back bulge. (laughing) – I don’t know, I didn’t
know when the right time to tell you guys was. I was just born with
it, I didn’t even know it was weird till this year. (laughing)
– You have a tail too? – So what? Maybe–
– You have a tail too? – Maybe it’s magic and it’ll point us in the right direction! – I’m a puppy dog! – Really?
– Yeah! – I mean, I’m a human kid I think, I just grew a tail, is all. – Does it have any special powers? – Not that I’ve found yet. – Well bring it on out, let’s see it! – Were you bitten, scratched, or licked on by something magical? – No, I’m just, I don’t
want anybody to find out, I didn’t know it was weird because my mom never told me that
everybody doesn’t have tails, and one night I walked
in on her and my dad watching a weird movie, and I realized other people don’t have tails back there. – They do, I have one too. – What?! – Not really, I’m sorry. – Show me your butt. (laughing) I mean, that sounded weird. I love you. – I don’t have a tail, I don’t
know why I just said that, sometimes I just say things. – Same.
– Really? You actually have a tail though? – Yeah.
– Cool! (laughing) – Okay, I’ll show you guys if you promise not to make fun of me. – Okay! – No, but you can, can I film it? Cool! Okay. – An exploitation movie! (laughing) – It’s tailsploitation. – I’m very excited by this. – I undo the drawstring of
my really baggy sweat pants. – Is this okay? I wanna get consent before
this goes on camera. – Yeah. I mean, as long as you guys– – Barneby, move, you’re
blocking the camera, Barneby! – As long as you’re still my friends. – Aww! – How come you have your tail now? I don’t get mine until a
couple of days from now. When is mine? – It’s not for, it’s not yet,
it’s not tonight at least. – How come you get yours now? – Well, I was just born with it, it’s always been back there. Here, it’s long and it’s brown, and it is long, and it curls like this. – Whoa! – Yeah, I can grab things with it. I’m tickling your chin. (laughing) – Mine’s nothing like that! – I’m gonna put it away,
this is embarrassing, I’ve never shown anyone before. – That is embarrassing, and I’m a goblin. – You’re a goblin with big pointy ears! (laughing) – As you guys trek through– – Loogie, hat is single-handedly
the coolest thing I’ve ever put on film. – Can we date? No, wrong time, sorry. – You have to answer! – Roll for cool, roll for cool! – Roll for cool! – Roll for suave, roll a charisma. (laughing) This is a gust check. – Roll for cool. – I have absolutely nothing– – Or I’m sorry, no, not a gust, brooks. Brooks, brooks, brooks. – Okay, it doesn’t help that
I always have crushes, huh? (laughing) – No. – Can’t use telekinesis to pull her close. – What? – Okay. (laughing) – Roll for awkward flirting.
– Oh my gosh. (gasps)
– Ooh! Oh no, that’s good, that’s good. – That did it. – I get one.
– One! – You know, Loogie’s not so bad. – I really awkwardly pat my curly fro and I just kinda look at you and I go, yeah, okay. – So we’re date, we’re a couple? – I think that’s how it works, right? We’re like–
– Bird Kid! – Are you guys like going away? – I remember my older sister
used to call it steady, yeah! – Wow!
– This movie has everything! It’s got romance, it’s got
action, it’s got vomit! – This is gonna be the
greatest movie of all time. – As you guys are having
this conversation. – Oh. – Budding pre-teen romance. – We’re making the movie for Laura. – Tabs, you realize, you thought
you were leading everbody down a shortcut, you have not
led them towards a shortcut. – Who let the baby lead? – You come across a clearing.
– I’m not a baby. – And you see this kind
of white, very no windows, militarized complex looking building, with a single bright floodlight
on it in the far distance in kinda this open clearing
that you’re stumbling upon, along with a barbed wire
fence going around it. As you all stumble out into this clearing, kinda not really too
caught up in your romance. Let’s everybody make a perception check. – Gladly. ‘Cause this place
definitely looks super safe. – Perception is ga… – That’s gales, we want the purple. – The purple. – I have nothing that will help. – That’s gale, right? Or gales is perception?
– Yeah. – That’s a three. – Let’s see.
(groans) – Three challenge. – Hoo boy. – Do I lose one for being none too bright, or do I get my four because
that’s what I’m good at? – You can get your four, yeah. This is just your
ability to notice things. You don’t have to be smart to see. Fail. – Failed and got a strike. – Okay, I shall try.
– Fail for Tabs. (grunts)
– So if it’s in her– – I’ll do three. (mumbling) ♪ Thanks ♪ – If it’s their strength. – That’s a one. – Gotcha. – So you just give it to something else. – Gotcha. – What are we looking for, perp? – Okay, okay. – I didn’t see it. But this is just like
that scene in Star War– – Nope, I got a strike. – Ves of the Generations. Oh no. – So is it anytime you get an X, as long as you don’t save
from it, then it’s a strike? Is that the deal? – If you fail you get a strike, I think it might be for
normal skill challenges, I’m not sure, I think
you get to decide whether it applies to something that’s
like a perception check. – Gotcha. – But in general, if you
failed and rolled an X, you get a strike. – Right, okay. This isn’t necessarily a skill check. This is just to see if you guys can see. – I’m definitely not gonna make this, ’cause these all need to be gales. – Okay.
– It’s a double. – Unfortunately, as you
stumble up and you realize, oh, we’re in like a
big, wide open clearing. Oh, it’s suddenly really, man,
that is a bright floodlight. And from the bright floodlight,
the ground starts to rumble and shake beneath you. Duh duh duh duh duh duh. And you just see– – This is just like that scene
that I was in in Space Wars! – And you look up.
– I hope you’re filming this. – And it’s a little bright,
and from the distance two tanks come rolling up onto you guys. – Cool! – A team of militarized
soldiers come out on each side. (grunting) and you have two representatives coming up holding guns at gunpoint,
facing them at you. – Whoa!
– Wow! – I get on my knees and start doing an up-hero angle at them. This is great stuff, keep going! Yell at us! – As a young female
officer comes up to you, she sees your camera and
goes, put the camera down! (gasps) – That was great, that
was great, can you do it, maybe try like a German accent! – She takes the end of
her gun and goes crack! And tries–
– Hey! – Roll dex to see if you dodge. (gasping) Roll some brooks. – Oh my gosh! Okay, wait. – Or sorry, dex is gales.
– Dex is gales. – Brooks is charisma, sorry. Gales, roll some gales. – So, since I am a budding filmmaker, I protect my camera at all cost, does that mean that I get an extra die? – It does, since it’s a challenge. – Thank you. What else, what else? What am I good at? I am also, I also work out a lot, so I’m really strong, so I
have really fast reflexes. – Yeah you do. – I’ll allow it.
– Thank you. – I’ll allow it. – That’s my girlfriend. (laughing) – Okay.
(groaning) – I tell to the cop. Hey now. – What? – Please don’t be rude to my girlfriend. – Aren’t y’all too young to be dating? – Ooh!
– No, we’re steady. – Kids these days. – Two gales. (grunts)
– Oh! – Hands off the merchandise, lady! – All right, if you
all tell me where it is and you destroy that tape,
I won’t break your camera. – Where what is? – Where’s what? Is it something interesting? – Do you guys know, do
you guys know what this is and why we’re here? You guys following us? – Can I use my mild
telekinesis to pick up an acorn and put it in the tip of your
gun without using my hands? – Sure.
– You have telekinesis? – Mild, mild telekinesis. – Roll a– – Strength? – I was gonna say a dex
check with your stealth, your pretty stealthy as a
kid, like a sleight of hand to see if you can do it
while she’s distracted and not noticing. – Can I use my stealthy for a fat kid? – You can. – And then also my mild telekinesis. – Yes.
– Okay. – Absolutely. (panting) (laughing) – Gales! (groaning) – Really, really bad. Nothing, just full-on, I try
to and I poke her in the eye! – She goes, ah! And she just kinda jerks
when she gets hit in the eye, and once again she kind of clocks you right up against the chin. Ow! – I deserved it. – I go berserk! That is my talent! (shouts) – All right, round up the kids! – I’ve wrapped my arms around your legs and I’m not letting go. – As–
– We are 11! And five! (laughing) – I’m almost six! – I lost eight years
there, so I’m not sure. – She goes all right,
everyone, grab these kids, we’re putting ’em,
we’re taking ’em inside! – No! – Everyone, roll a dex
check to see if you guys can escape all of the army men who are coming to try and grab you each. – Is any one kicking me? – No one’s kicking.
– Shit. – They’re just, they’re all
kinda coming up around you. Let’s make this a, would
this be a strength check? Maybe you guys trying to break free? – Yeah. – Can I try dex to escape? – Or like a dex– – I would like to hide instead, because one of my talents is
I’m really good at hiding, so I’m gonna hide behind the tank. – Okay. So you’re gonna hide,
you’re gonna use your dex to try and wiggle free.
– Mhmm. – Someone’s coming around you and they’re trying to grab you. – Can I just say– – So this is what’s happening. I’m going to ask Barneby to sick ’em! And I’m hoping that since the
owl is definitely behind me, will sense that Barneby is in danger and come to rescue Barneby by
also attacking the assailant. – Okay. – So I don’t– We’ll make that a flames check? – Sure. – We’ll make that an intelligence check. – Animal handling check. – Yeah, an animal, so
you’re doing stealth, you’re doing dex, you’re
doing animal handling, what about you, Krankle? – I have access to my mom’s checkbook. (laughing) So I’m just gonna say, hey, why
don’t I cut you a deal here, and I’ll just get out my
checkbook and we can just pretend like this whole thing never happened. – Okay, roll a charisma check. (laughing) – I get my extra, right? – I pause before I attack
the fine young soldier. (laughing) – Fine young soldier. – That’s not what Bird Kid
things, that’s what Gina thinks. – He’s a neato soldier,
you taught me that one. – Neato burrito! – Okay, who goes first? – You have a burrito? – Huh? – Let’s do, let’s see, let’s do, let’s do your stealth check first. – Okay, can I use stealth
and really good at hiding? – Yes, and I’m gonna say
you automatically succeeded, and I’m gonna get new cards. – Oh, I see what you did there. – Uh huh. – I’m hiding. – A medal. – So you will– – Stop the bees. – You will just see Loogie take off. Loogie is gone, he is hiding in the woods. Tabs, you see Loogie run, what do you do? You’re trying to be dexy and– – Squirm out of the way and run! – Okay, gale three. – Oof! – Wait, wait, that’s what,
yes, that’s what I want. I keep getting gales and brooks confused. – How many you need, Tabs? – Just pass ’em all. – Okay. (mumbling) – I get an extra one for being good at it. – Yep. – I’ve been hoarding.
– I know. (laughing) – I don’t think I can get any more unless I go on the offensive. – You guys keep those, I’ll
get my new set of dice. I have new sets of dice. – Oh right. – These are our dice, Krinkle. – These are my dice! – It’s Krankle!
– Sorry! – I spit little bit. – Up there is their dice,
but down here it’s our dice. – I’ll make sure to
credit you appropriately. (laughing) – I have the ability to dodge kicks, but I don’t have anything else helpful. – They’re just trying to–
– Yep. – Grab you, trying to– – And I’m squirming out of the way! – You’re a squirmy kid! Oh no! – Great roll, though. – That is an epic fail. – A big guy comes up
from behind you, Tabs, and he’s grabbing you, you’re
kicking and screaming, but, it’s a pretty big guy. What were you doing, Birdie? – Well I was–
– Oh, you were trying to do– – I was gonna do my Bird Kid thing. – Okay, oh, are you trying to do it at the guy who’s got Tabs? – Oh, now I have retargeted. – Wait, before you go on the attack, can I just try to buy these guys? – You let go of my baby sister! So, I’m gonna sick my birds on
that guy as I go do a thing. And that thing is I’m
gonna sneak into that tank and rewire it, because
I am an electrician! – Okay. First, let’s do the birds. (laughing) – That tank is mine! – So you’re gonna try to roll
to sick the birds on the guy? – I am. – At the same time as this is happening, Krankle over here has a
brook challenge three. – Excuse me, sir. I hope you like money. (laughing) ’cause I have a lot of it. Don’t ask me where I got it. – All right, kid, yeah, sure ya do. – Yeah! How about I just cut you a check? Whatever you want, you hear this? Oh, thank you. You let us all go and we
forget this whole thing. – Kid, that’s gonna have
to be a pretty good check to top my government-paid
highly confidential job that I am in right now. – Does anybody have an extra
gale one to help me out here? – I think everyone else
is pretty distracted, you’re on your own, Krankle. – I’m sicking my birds. – Okay, show the money! Ooh. – Ooh, that’s bad! Oh, that’s–
– Don’t worry. It’s all down to me. – By the way, if we all get strikes, or if anybody gets three strikes, they pass out for the rest of the scene. – Right. – And I think I’m at two out of three now. – So that gives you a strike, right? (all talking at once) – What did he say? – He says, yeah, real
funny kid, and my dad is someone really rich, and he grabs you, and he now has you in a good grasp. Both you guys are captured. (laughing) – Classic reasons bribes don’t work. (laughing) – Classic reference
reference something ’80s. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I was gonna say, and
my dad is Donald Trump, and I was like, I don’t wanna make it, I don’t even wanna say it. – Time appropriate, though. – Yeah, it would’ve, it would’ve. – So I have, do I get an extra dice for the fact that already
have a pre-existing two birds. Do I get a dice for each bird? – I don’t know. – I’m sicking two birds on them. – Are both of them on your sheet? – Yeah. – Do they give you a thing? – I’m a falconer and I
have a thirsty owl friend. – Sure. Yeah. – Do you know what has a lot of water? Eyeballs.
– Yeah! (laughing) – That human is made of water! I shout that before sicking my creatures. (cawing) – Not the thirsty owl! – I just attach the camera
to the rig that I have, I have a body cam rigging that I, it’s just a lot of duct
tape and pipe cleaners. (laughing) – Would’ve been fine
with just the duct tape, but I’m glad you put pipe cleaners. – It’s so that it’s adjustable. – Oh. – I braided a lot, it took me all day, but I braided them, so now it can posable. – Mhmm. – So three, do I get the five? – You have–
– One for each bird. – Yeah, I’ll give you five. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. Oh, you did it! You did it. – How good, how good? Three. – Oh, five. One more. – Oh, were you going for brooks? – Going brooks. – Four! – Wait, flames or brooks? – Flames.
– Sorry, flames. – She gave me a flames two challenge. – So you, epic success. So, sure enough– – Strap the camera, Barneby, go! (caws) That soldier’s made of water! – And you just, for some
reason just this bird, you all thought she was
shitting you this whole time, but sure enough, here comes
this owl out of the woods, and he goes right after the
guard who’s holding you, and the guard just (shouting) and releases you free. – Quick, Tabs, come here! – Can I, as I break free,
can I use my signature move? (shouting) – Yes you can.
– Yes! – We gotta pull this
up, what’s your thing? – Pull it up, pull it up! – Because I have the Death Blossom! My signature move is–
– You’re a child! – You close your eyes
and flail about wildly, punching and kicking
anything unfortunate enough to be near you. Roll an additional die
for any stones challenge. – All right, so this
guard, you have two guards. (shouts) – Oh, I hit the button, I’m sorry. – Oh wow, it does a thing!
– Yeah! – How cool. – Sorry guys.
– Stranger danger, Tabs! Stranger danger! – So you have the guard
who’s now being attacked, and you have the main
officer woman, who’s like, what’s going on over here? So you have two people
who you are now hitting, and this just happens, right? – I get an extra die on
the stones challenge, but you could just say it happens. – On the challenge, okay okay, extra die on a stone challenge. I have no cards for a stone
challenge, so it just happens. – Yay! You could call it a one if you
wanted, but I’m also happy– – It’s a one, yeah, but we’ll, yeah. So, you go full, you think you look awesome and badass like a comic book, but it’s
more like a kid flailing in a Toys R Us that just didn’t get, and when the parents
are just like, over it, so you kick the officer woman in the shin and she’s like ah, these kids! And you just backhand the poor guy who’s already being attacked by the birds just right in the jaw, and they’re too distracted,
you guys are running off, the only one who’s still being
held is poor old Krankle. – Oh, shit. – And you’re now running for
the tank, and these guards– – Come run this way and
I’ll give you a waffle! – I have a… I have a signature move, but
I don’t know if I can use it. It’s you are extraordinarily
lucky sometimes. When you really really want
to you can reroll all dice of a challenge, ignoring all strikes. – Hmm. – You haven’t rolled anything yet. – Well that’s the problem. (laughing) – Well that’s the problem! – As the guards are running
off, the one that’s holding you goes, are you kids plants? Are you guys here working for Rammstein? Tell me! – The metal guy? – No! The secret organization! – I only listen to goth industrial. (laughing) – Roll a–
– Goblindustrial. – Yeah!
– Gobindustrial. – Roll a brooks challenge two to try and convince them
that you don’t know anything. (shouting) – Listen, I’ve got a lot of money! (laughing) – To convince them that
I’m dumb, let’s see, do I have anything for that? – I could’ve helped. But I’m distracted.
– Yeah. – Can I just start taking
out, just playing my (singing) I’m just here playing my song. (laughing) I don’t know what you
guys are talking about! (singing) – Okay, yeah. – Well, that was a–
– That was just one? – Do the reroll, do the reroll! – No, that’s a strike, but I’m
gonna use my signature move! And get myself a reroll. – Wow, look at this! – Okay. – Okay, let’s try again. Toot toot toot! Twee! (singing) (groaning) – Use your move. – I used it. – Oh. Well you didn’t push the button. – I did, but oh, okay, well
I did it, and I failed at it. – Oh no.
(laughing) – No strikes.
– Oh, Krankle! – If I tried to wrestle my way out I would’ve done a great job, but. (laughing) I just really wanna be an actor. (laughing) – He goes, (sighs) all right, I’m sorry kid, but
I think we’re gonna have to take you in for just a little
bit of questioning, all right? – No! – Can I make a move? – Do I make it to the tank? – At this point, you will
have made it to the tank, yes. – They’re gonna find
out I have goblin blood! – Okay, you get in the tank. Make a roll, let’s see
here, what would this be? – The tank is empty, they’re all on us. – Make a roll, make an intelligence
roll once again of two, just to see if you know how to navigate getting into this tank
that’s kind of locked and there’s a bit of a mechanism, and it’s like military grade equipment. – Right. – So flames–
– But here’s the thing, I’ve been studying all of the
game at Leaderboard Lockout, so I have been practicing
all of the button mashing, and I know what to do. – Oh yeah, they got that– – Not to mention, I am an electrician. – Oh, that’s right. – They got that tactical tank game that shows you how to unlock a tank. – I’ve built my own
homemade Geiger counter. This is legit. I know, I’ve taken a lot of stuff apart. That’s why I didn’t ask
to borrow the camera, I took the last one
apart and I didn’t know how to put it back together. But at least I know
what’s inside of it now. – So I’d say, being an electrician, and you’re extensive knowledge– – I also have an identical memory, so I remember everything
that I’ve ever seen ever. – You tap in–
– Wow, I can’t read. – Like you’re in front
of the arcade cabinet. – I’m working on it. – And you see Nuke’s
Bazooks in front of you, and you just go right into
that military tank game, and you’re just full-on keyboard
warrior, see what you got. (shouts) – Oh, that’s too many. How many to play? – Playing the game and being
good at electric, so five. – Five, beautiful.
– Yeah, do the five. – Come on! – Help her, dude! – Flames two, flames two, flames. (cheering) – That’s a flames three. – You’re on fire tonight, Gina. – Joystick, joystick, joystick,
buttons, joystick, button. (opening) – You get in the tank. (whooshes) – Hey! Storm Floopers! – Hey, Storm Floopers! Comes over the speaker on the tank. – This is your leader now, and you’re gonna let go of my friends, return my bird, and the other bird, and go back in your compound, or else! And I joystick the gun on
the top of the thing towards the clump of Storm Floopers. – Okay. – I say to the soldier holding me, that’s my friend, and
she’s fucking psycho, dude. She is making a movie, she’s for real. – Did the kids just get in, get down! Just roll a basic flames
check to see if you don’t completely mess up the
mechanics for rolling the gun, so you need a success of one. – Or accidentally shoot it? – Or, yeah. – I’m hiding behind the
tank still, I believe. – That’s cool, I won’t shoot you then. – Okay. – ‘Cause you’re next to it. It’s like a blind spot of death. – Right. – I got excited and jumped
right out into the open and I’m dancing and cheering. That’s my sister! – Don’t kill my sister,
don’t kill my sister! – I’m not in the clump. – Oh, you did great. Okay, so not only do you figure out– – This is my moment. And it’s all on camera. – And the guns come out, (whirring) and you fire a nice
spray of warning shots, do do do do do do do. All the soldiers go, whoa, get down! And just take off
running for the compound. These kids are crazy,
we need reinforcement! – Let’s go, let’s get in the tank! – Hiya! – Everyone, get in the tank! And I just lift the lid and
stick my arm out and go Barneby! (whooshing) (caws) – He comes in the tank,
you see all your friends, they’re running, you’re hauling ass, you open the door, you
all get in the tank, congratulations, you have somehow successfully commandeered–
– Yes we have. – A military tank. (all talking at once) – You’re the most incredible
woman I’ve ever seen! – Loogie. I come over to you and I
go, does your chin hurt? – Oh, from when I got smacked
with the butt of that rifle? – Yeah. – I forgot I had a chin
when I look at you. (laughing) I picked this flower. It’s a dandelion. – Oh, well, I got, I reach into my pocket, and I got– (babbling) and I go, this is my favorite sticker. I hope it makes your chin
feel like it’s there again. – I put it on my chin. What’s it a sticker of? – It’s a cat that’s really sparkly, and it’s got a yarn ball in its mouth. – It sniffs good. – It does, it smells like blueberries. – Wow! Is this what love feels like? – Are you getting all of this? – Yeah, it’s all on camera. – Whew. – Cool body cam. – Nuke’s Bazooks, Nuke’s
Bazooks, Nuke’s Bazooks! – You’re right. (shouting) You’re right Tabs, we definitely
need to get a move on. – It’s like sometimes Tabs
is so mature for her age, and other times, not so much. – I’m very mature. – Who knows–
– She goes with her cycles. – Who knows the direction to know you need to at least go this direction to start heading towards the boardwalk, somebody, let’s make a– – I have an identic memory. I can help. Let’s work together, Tabs. I kind of vaguely remember
having to chase you through these woods before, and I know that there is definitely
some sort of creek that leads near towards
the boardwalk area. So if we, are we near water,
can you tell that at all? – Get the owl! I mean, owl can lead us to water! – You’re right! – It’s so thirsty! – Open the top again. (whooshes) Thirsty owl, we need
your help one more time. (hooting) Are you still thirsty? (hoots) (laughing) Find us water. (hooting) Take us to the boardwalk, thirsty friend! (hooting) – And you see your thirsty owl go. (whooshing) And he starts guiding you
off towards the boardwalk as you (clanking) and you all slowly start rolling off in a giant militarized tank
through the creepy woods off the freeway, towards the boardwalk. – Is this one of those slow tanks? Can I juice up the engine? (whirring) – Open her up, babe! (laughing) – Oh no, the engine is a Chewbaccio. – It’s like, you know. – You know, from that
Space Wars movie I was in. (trilling)
Chewbaccio. Listen. (trilling) Oh! – You’re really pushing that throttle. – I’m going full plaid! (laughing) – Full plaid? – Yeah. It’s the same movie, it’s
from Space Wars, remember? – Thirsty owl has flown
away at this point. (laughing) – What? – Thank you. – What happened? – You made thirsty owl fly away. – Did you? – As you all follow the thirsty owl, and through the night make
your way towards the boardwalk, we will stop there
(gasps) and pick up next week. (cheering and clapping) – That was so fun. – Oh my god, I’m dying so hard. – You were so good. – Listen, I have cursed hands,
sometimes they roll amazing and sometimes they don’t,
today was a good day. Thank you.
– You did really good. – They were good hands. – That was amazing, we made
your job so difficult tonight. – No! You made my job so, I just had to like, pay attention to not just make it like a Three’s Company episode or something. (laughing) Like I just needed to be very for it, or else it was gonna be a teen drama. (laughing) – I can’t believe we got that tank, I can’t believe your birds worked. – I can’t either. – We got a tank! – I was trying to make it
really difficult for you. I thought you guys were
gonna get caught, somehow. – I can’t believe the birds worked, considering I don’t own or know one, and– – You don’t know a bird? – I don’t know– – You don’t know any bird girl? – I don’t know that bird. – You don’t know bird friends? – I only have one bird friend,
and he’s not well trained. But I’ve heard that–
– Marisha’s a bird person. – Smacking it into the soldier. – Marisha’s a real life bird person. – I am a real life bird
person, they’re mean. They’re like, birds
will mess your shit up. – They’ll peck your eyes out. – I do have a little pet bird, yeah. Little green-cheeked conure. – Is he mean? – Well, she loves me. (laughing) But she doesn’t love any,
she’s very territorial, yeah. – Yeah, see? That’s how it is. – You wanna know about anything? – Yeah, Becca, what is
this Light Seekers thing? – Hey! – It seems really fascinating. – Got a really dope game
I wanna tell you about, it’s called Light Seekers
trading card game, basically you and your friends, you all play as heroes, you
start with the starting health of about 30 and you play cards
from your hand, taking turns to knock the other person’s
health down to zero and destroy them, my favorite
part is you play these cards called buffs that rotate
each turn and can do different and more powerful
actions the more they turn. – Oh, that’s cool. – It’s pretty fun, we
should play sometime. – I got to see all the
artwork on Loremasters, it’s beautiful. – It’s really cool, right? – We got to open it, so it was great. – It’s adorable. – It’s really beautiful art. – I saw most of your Loremasters and it was friggin’ awesome. – Thank you! – What was your topic? – Creativity in all of the spectrum. – That’s what you do. – That is what I do. That is who I am, it was an
interview of the essence of me. (laughing) – Man, we’re so lucky to have so many smart and creative people
that we’re surrounded by, and yeah, this is good,
this is great guys. – I feel warm and fuzzy. – You know Marisha, I can’t
believe this was your first time GMing this game. – Yay! – Oh my god, it is so much fun, I am so excited for next week. (clapping)
– Yeah! (shouts) – I’m excited to see you
guys roll up to the boardwalk in a militarized tank.
(laughing) It’s gonna be awesome. – We’ll see you next time, then. – We’ll see you all next
time, thank you guys much, and we’ll see you on Weave
Society next week on Wednesday, 9:30 p.m., bye everybody. (electronic music) (upbeat music)